Where Are They Now?

Love and creating a life is not a transient thing yet often it seems that way too many in our society. Mothering is indeed defined as a nurturing job. Fathering is more often limited to, and defined as, planting seed. This is evident in the first definitions of these two words. This is very sad for our children. And it is something that our culture has yet to get a grip on and grapple with.

My feelings regarding this also inform my feelings on abortion and on amniocentesis, etc. Those feelings have become even more hardened since I have become a parent. There is no guarantee in life or birth. Once you have decided to become a parent you have decided to become a parent period the end. Thus you have decided to accept the inherent risks, and there are so many, that come with that scary territory.

That said, this tune can be taken in so many ways.

Far too many Daddies are gone because they no longer are enamored with the walk and baby talk of their former beautiful girls and so their children suffer. How sad is that for both the children and the Daddies. Everyone loses in this picture.

As an undergraduate I had a discussion with an economics professor about abandonment. I told her that I totally understood why women engage in infanticide, etc., but I could not understand why “fathers” would walk away and abandon their children because they could not stand to see them go hungry, etc. I did not understand how it was okay to know that your children would be hungry as long as you didn’t witness it. However, this seemed to be for many “Fathers” a justification for abandonment, not to mention the other spurious justifications. I didn’t get it then and she agreed with me. Maybe that was because we were both single mothers, or not?

There are many theories that abound when it comes to “Fathers” abandoning their children versus Mothers abandonment. One is that women carry their offspring and therefore are connected to them and “Fathers” have no actual physical connection to their offspring and thus are less connected, and in some cases feel totally unconnected, to them. But I still do not understand the justifications for abandonment. And I can’t believe that our children do.

In our culture it is indeed “Gone Daddy Gone” and without a penalty that is equivalent to the damage done to all those involved.

JMHO!